Living in a Box…
Living in a Box…
Living in a Box... I loved the song in the 80’s, but didn’t understand the true meaning until I got older
With Living in a Box going round in my head, I feel this blog is going to be a reference to lots of songs as I get the urge to suddenly burst into ‘Born Free’, which reminds me of Vic Reeves and being in 6th form at high school!
Anyway, ‘Born Free’ is how we all come into this World. With no opinions, judgements, restrictions, doubts, worries, prejudice, hatred, jealousy… the list is endless.
We are literally born free, to be moulded by EVERYBODY around us. Not just our parents, grandparents, siblings etc., but society as a whole, in the circles we become a part of as we grow up, mostly down to our parents’ choices. In return, we also influence everyone we meet and spend time with. This isn’t a one way street, we’re all influencers!
Hi, I’m Helen.
I’ve been looking for ‘a better way’ to enjoy life for as long as I can remember. Without the stresses of the 9-5 and the pressure of society’s expectations, just to be free to live life my way.
Find out more about me and how I’m creating the life I want.
Boxes, boxes, boxes...
Before we know it, we fit into boxes, lots of boxes, depending on where we are and who we’re with.
We’ve all heard teachers say “would you do that at home?”… quite frankly no! Because home is a different box, it has different people, different rules, different restrictions, and mostly, different EXPECTATIONS! Likewise, I also wouldn’t have studied RE, History or done PE at home, yet I was expected to do those things at school!
How we ‘perform’ at school, home, friends’ houses or when we’re out, is all different because the influences are different, the boundaries are different and the purposes of each are different. Yet they all have their unspoken guidelines of what’s acceptable within their own ‘boxes’ that we have to fit into!
Feeling lost…
Getting older, I’ve had enough of fitting into boxes. Had enough of being a performing monkey just to fit in. Most of my school life and early adulthood was spent hoping people would like me and adapting my life to fit with other people’s opinions just so people would like me.
You see, you generally grow up being told off by parents for being too messy, too loud and basically always feeling as if you’re in the wrong. My childhood wasn’t horrendous, but us humans do have a knack for dwelling on the negatives more than the positives!
Start creating your life...
MINDFULNESS
MINDSET
LAW OF ATTRACTION
COURSES & RESOURCES
In addition, at school, you’re not really allowed an opinion and have to conform to so many rules and regulations then suddenly you’re expected to become fully functioning adults capable of making decisions and knowing exactly what you want in life!
Ask yourselves, how many boxes do you fit into? Which boxes are you trapped in just to keep other people happy and which ones let you be free to be you? To be true to yourself? To be true to what’s inside you? Your core, your whole being?
The box with no boundaries…
Fast forward to now, I’m in my mid-forties and want to live my life more free than ever before! I actually only want to fit in 1 box now, my own! It’s the only box I should fit into and I want to take that box everywhere with me! The box of freedom to be who I am, who I’m meant to be, no matter what! The only box that feels like it has no boundaries!
“This is me!”
And it really is! I am me! You are you! No matter who likes me or who doesn’t like me, this is me! I shouldn’t have to be someone or something I’m not just to please other people! I have my life to live how I’m meant to live it!
If people don’t fit in my box, I absolutely don’t want them to stay there, just pretending they do fit and taking up valuable space of someone who actually does fit and should be there! Above all, I want them to go on their merry way and be happy how they need to be happy. In return, I’m left with honest relationships that fit with me and I’m able to live my truest life too!
A song of two meanings…
Now, in April 2020, Living in a Box has taken on a whole new meaning. The literal meaning I took it for all those years ago.
We’re in lockdown! Not allowed to leave our homes other than to buy food, work if necessary or to exercise once a day! We are literally living in a box, otherwise known as our home.
I hated it at first but now I’m really enjoying it. No, honestly I am! You see, it’s given me the head space and time I’ve been craving to be able to work out which bits I want to change. I feel like it’s given me a fast track secret look at the life I want to be living! And I actually don’t want lockdown to end any time soon because I’m mostly living the way I want right now… apart from it’s not quite my beach bar island life, but travel isn’t allowed at the moment!
What we don’t miss, leads us to realise what we actually want…
Don’t get me wrong, I do miss physically seeing people very much, desperately at times, but that’s about it! I don’t miss the 9-5 grind, the rush hour traffic and the daily work, eat, sleep, repeat and washing on a weekend… I don’t fit in that box! I’ve known for a long time that I don’t fit in that box!
How many people really do? How many people make themselves fit in that box because it’s ‘just the way life is’? Well, for me, there has to be a better way! Not because I think I deserve something better any more than anyone else does, but because I simply want to find a better way! I don’t want to just make myself fit any more. I want to make life fit me now so I can enjoy it my way!
But right now, I have the opportunity to really step back, feel my feelings and listen to my internal reactions to the things I’m doing compared with ‘normal’. I’m picking out the good bits that I want to keep and create my new life with and I’m deleting the rest. I feel like this is my ‘Control Z’ button of real life, not just undoing my last action, but removing everything that’s not quite right in my life.
A better way…
I’m learning new things about what would work for me! How I would want my home, work and life balance to be! And it’s not how I thought it would be even just a few months ago! But, I have the luxury of time, calm and peacefulness now. So, I’m listening to my gut, tuning into my intuition and I’m mentally rearranging my whole life instead of just conforming to expectations. And I’m starting to like what that looks like! That’s the life I need to create for myself now!
‘Working 9 to 5’ isn’t the way I want to make a living! And who said lunch has to be around 12pm or 1pm anyway? I want to eat when I’m hungry not condition my body into eating when it doesn’t need food! No wonder I need to lose weight! I’m force feeding myself half the time and just piling on the pounds! And if I can’t sleep at night, I want to be able to get up and make use of that time. Be productive, instead of punishing myself, making myself lay there counting the hours getting more and more distressed because I have to be up in a few hours! Telling myself over and over “for god sake just go to SLEEP!!!”, then finally dropping off just before the alarm goes off!
No, there has to be a better way!
‘I want to break free’!